Everything is normal... As strange as it might sound, I'm a little upset by this... I think part of me was hoping DH played some part in this so that I wouldn't feel so guilty about everything. If there were to be something on his part I feel like there would be a little more we could do... I don't know... This just kind of left me in a spot where I know that this is all on me. It's my fault we can't get pregnant, and there is nothing we can do right now. It's the same old song and dance, take pills, get tests done, baby dance, and wait. Three months until I can get into Portsmouth, and then it's the same thing again. It's mildly depressing... CD 16, and no ovulation yet. I'm hoping it happens tonight, and I am praying to no end that this is the month. I know there are people who have tried for so much longer, and I know that there are people who have dealt with so much more crap on this stupid infertility rollercoaster, and so I really shouldn't be complaining. But dammit! This is the worst thing I've ever dealt with and I'm ready for it to be over.
I feel like it's never going to happen, and with every month it seems less and less likely that it will happen. Every time I turn around someone else is pregnant, someone else is having a baby shower, someone else is asking me to hold their baby, someone freaking else is telling me it'll happen when we want it badly enough. Because, of course! I OBVIOUSLY just don't want a baby badly enough. The way people look at it is that since there is nothing physically wrong, it must be a mental thing. People piss me off and I want them to shut up.
I hate holidays.