Assvice.

Dear members of society,

As an infertile there are several things you should not say to me. Saying of these things will get you punched in the ovaries, or other sexual organs.

1. "Just relax!"
Yes! Because THAT will be the magical cure! How in the hell have I overlooked that?! Wait, better question! why didn't anything happen in the beginning when relaxing was all we were doing?!

2. "You're still young!"
Please, do tell that to my deteriorating ovaries! As soon as they hear that they'll totally chill out!

3. "Go on vacation!"
See number one.

4. "Just enjoy yourself!"
Oh, believe you me, we are enjoying ourselves! The act is fun! It's the end result... or lack thereof, that sucks. So, with that in mind, your theory fails. Unless you meant...

5. "You're so lucky you don't have kids!"
Go fuck yourself. Seriously. I know you might think your children are a pain in the ass, but I would kill for them. Count your blessings. Ass.

6. "I have a friend's sister's cousin's friend's mom who (just quit trying, did twenty back handsprings, ate this herb, stood on her head, etc) and got pregnant right away! Maybe you should try it!"
Wow! This individual is now my role model. I will immediately try you long list of Google Med School remedies (that I've probably already tried) and that will solve every problem!

7. "Things could be worse!"
Wow. Way to invalidate my feelings! For me, this is "worse," so shut up.

8. "Just leave it in God's hands!"
God gave us science and initiative for a reason.

Now, if you actually want to say or do something that will actually help, read on!

1. Just listen. That means more than almost anything!

2. Give me a hug. This hurts more than you could possibly imagine.

3. Hand me a tissue. Looking at me awkwardly when I start crying after yet another BFN just makes me feel stupid.

4. Send me a card. It lets me know you understand and care.

5. Understand if I'm a little bitchy. They are pumping me full of LOTS of hormones, it happens.

6. Say a prayer for me. One more never hurts!

Well, that about sums up my rant.

Sincerely,

Kaylei